Why Have Separate Men and Women Walks?
Having separate events for men and for women is another feature that distinguishes Emmaus
from other church retreat experiences. Although seemingly unusual, this approach proves to be
one of the strengths of the program for many participants— both single and married. Emmaus
encourages equal commitment to attend Emmaus on the part of both persons within a marriage
relationship. In this way, their common experience deepens their oneness in Christ. After the three-
day experience, men and women participate together in all Emmaus-related activities, though many
prefer separate group reunions as well.
Marriage enrichment is not the aim of the Emmaus Walk. Emmaus's structure focuses on the
individual's spiritual life, so separate events keep the focus on the person.
Separate events grant married persons individual time apart to explore their relationship with
God. Married persons can give themselves to the three days without worrying about how their spouses
are faring. Separate events also free some spouses from limiting patterns of behavior in their marriages
that would normally inhibit them from speaking openly about some aspects of their lives or about
spiritual matters in the presence of each other. For example, in ordinary settings, spouses sometimes
have a way of speaking for each other. In The Walk to Emmaus, all persons think and speak for
themselves. Persons have the space to revisit their own relationship with God and to express
themselves.
Separate men's and women's events also offer single persons and married men and women freedom
for expression and sharing that some do not feel in the company of the opposite sex. Separate events
relieve single persons of the discomfort of being the "unmarried" ones in the midst of many married
couples. This arrangement gives men an opportunity to express natural emotion—something that many
are reluctant to do in our culture, especially in the presence of women. Separate events give women the
same freedom, especially those whose identities, outlook, or creativity have been defined by the men in
their lives.
One noteworthy benefit of separate weekends is the way men make significant spiritual connections
with other men, and women with other women. For example, men get beyond the typical male exchange
about work, weather, and sports to open to one another about their relationships with God and the
quality of their lives. In a day when many men have vanished from churches, Emmaus is reenlisting
them effectively into the ranks of congregations. Through Emmaus, they hear anew Christ's call to
commitment within their roles as husbands, fathers, workers, church members, and leaders. They make
friends who hold them mutually accountable and keep them focused on their priorities.
